If strangling is not an option, what is?

Have you ever felt like the man in the picture above after a conversation with a dominant person, a bully, or should we say the word – a narcissist?

Here are four solid tips: 

  1. Acceptance. Acceptance? That’s a strange suggestion. Perhaps not. When I purchased “The Road Less Traveled” by M. Scott Peck, the first sentence was worth the entire cost of the book. It read, “Life is difficult. Once you accept that, it no longer matters.” Likening that statement to problem coworkers or family members, once you accept the fact that they are difficult, and will probably always be difficult, you can move on to either personal coping skills or strategies to neutralize their irritating behaviors.
  2.  Visualize Self-worth. One of the wicked tools #bullies and #narcissists use is demoting you to something less than dirt. Don’t fall for this trap. Make yourself a victory film. A victory film are pictures in your mind of your triumphs, the times you won, the times you were recognized for good acts. When someone tries to make you feel that you don’t deserve human dignity, run this victory film in your head. An alternative to a victory film is a “Terrific Emails” folder in your Inbox. Move emails that compliment you or thank you into this folder for ready re-read after a difficult conversation.
  3. Validate Personal Opinions. #Bullies and #narcissists try to overpower you by overtly announcing their opinion that leaves no room for any other viewpoint. This gives you the opening to say, “Your opinion is ____________. Did I state that correctly?” After their affirmation that you stated it correctly, you say, “AND my opinion is __________________.” If you use the lower registers of your voice and in a firm way, nothing wavering, most will pause and look at you with new respect.
  4. Get Physical. Get physical, not with the bully or narcissist, but with yourself. Walk up the stairs, run the neighborhood, play pickleball or tennis, lift weights, ride the Peloton. Do anything to work the negative emotions and hormones out of your body. 

There are many other ways to counter the #bullies and #narcissists in your workplace and life. Learn more in the #FREE #webinar Neutralizing #Narcissistic Nuisances on February 1st at 11:00 a.m.

Sign up here: https://www.linkedin.com/events/neutralizingnarcissisticnuisanc7156331023364972545/comments/

About Karla

Karla Brandau is the author of How to Earn the Gift of Discretionary Effort, a 21st century leadership book. She is a thought leader on how to create a culture in your organization that enables employees to give discretionary effort on a regular basis.

She is the CEO of Brandau Power Institute, a management consulting firm with expertise in the DISC 4-quadrant personality assessment, emotional intelligence, strengthening the touch points between managers and employees, and increasing the productivity of work teams.

Her clients include corporations such as Coca-Cola Enterprises, Cox Enterprises, Arauco, and Panasonic as well government agencies including the EPA, NIH, and the FDA.

She is a keynote speaker and a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP), an earned designation given by National Speakers Association. Other designations she has earned are Certified Facilitator and Registered Corporate Coach.

Cell: 770-329-1806 | Office: 770-923-0883

Karla@KarlaBrandau.com | www.KarlaBrandau.com

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