Even With A Dose of Narcissistic Behaviors?
Are you curious about what Narcissistic behavior you should be using on a daily basis? Self-Love. Not the selfish, narcissistic kind of self-love that damages relationships because of “Our relationship is all for MY needs,” but the self-love that makes you trust in your abilities.
After studying personalities for over 20 years, I believe that every human being is a mix of abilities and skills that are stamped on them at conception. In my DISC personality coaching and live programs, I make the statement, “You must love who you are,” meaning your personality traits are unique. It is important to take your personality mix, accept your strengths, recognize your limitations, and love your God-given gifts.
In my book, “Wake Up The Winner Inside,” I recommend 13 daily aerobics to maintain your self-esteem when life’s daily challenges discourage you. These aerobics build a tough mindset, just like aerobics or workouts in the gym build a tough body.
Aerobic Number Three is “Breathe In, Breathe Out.” The daily aerobic is to say to yourself “I am an incredible human being!” This statement is meant to give you healthy self-esteem and confidence in your abilities. The woman below is breathing calmness and confidence into her soul.
Everyone needs healthy self-esteem or in relation to a discussion of narcissism, healthy self-love, not selfish self-love, in order to achieve.
Why would the little league baseball player get up to bat if his self-esteem didn’t tell him he can hit the ball? Why would you apply for a job if your self-esteem didn’t tell you that this is a terrific job you could do with distinction? Why would you volunteer for a presentation for your company if you didn’t believe you would give the best speech to promote your products and company? You wouldn’t.
From an emotional intelligence viewpoint, self-love or self-esteem means you recognize your incomprehensible worth. You value your talents and skills that can advance the team’s projects to a successful conclusion. A belief in yourself makes you trust your capabilities and hold your head high.
Self-esteem grants you the ability to respond calmly to criticism with facts or the statement, “You might be right!” Self-love knows that feedback, routinely given as criticism, can illuminate where you can improve.
In my book, “How to Earn the Gift of Discretionary Effort,” I make the statement that every human being in your organization needs to be wanted, esteemed as worthy, and welcomed in a genuine way not a narcissistic way. The narcissistic way is to love bomb you into doing what promotes the narcissist’s move up the ladder, then scapegoat you for a mistake the narcissist makes.
The next time a co-worker, manager, or colleague makes you feel less worthy, run their comments or behavior through your Narcissistic Behavior Filter. Are they treating you with disrespect, even rudeness, to advance their own self-esteem or cover for personal ineptness? If so, swing into your own self-respect realm. Respond to them in an assertive way with confidence and facts.
As a side note, once you understand the fragile nature of narcissists, a little bit of kindness can go a long way in turning the tables on their narcissistic behaviors.
